**********************************************************************
* Round A Prizes and Awards, Part 5: *
* *
* THE GOSSIP COLUMN - ROUND A *
* *
* "Recalling entertaining moments and dubious achievements." *
**********************************************************************
A. BLOOPERS AND BOOBY PRIZES
1. "Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire" Award
We can only award this honor to TMPsycho in A29. By turn 11,
The Master Psycho (Orange) and Turin Turambar (Green) had eliminated
all other opposition, and were in a dead heat with 22 and 21 cities each.
Peace threatened to break out, at that point, but the struggle resumed
on Turn 13 as TMPsycho's forces slew one of Turin's two heroes,
and TMPsycho began marching down the road to victory. On Turn 16,
The Master Psycho (Orange) was well in the lead, with 2 powerful heroes and
25 cities; Turin Turambar had only 1 hero and a mere 16 cities.
Victory was never so near!
But like the Roman Empire before him, TMPsycho lost it all.
The decisive moment came at the end of Turn 16 when Turambar
destroyed one of TMPsycho's heroes, captured both Gold items,
and sent TMPsycho's entire war machine into sudden bankruptcy!
Though he still outnumbered his enemy and still had the same number
of heroes, his production was suspended and his surprised
forces were in disarray, and TMPsycho began sliding down the
slippery slope to eventual defeat. Fortunately the buzzer rang,
and in the end, the final score was Turin Turambar 22, TMPsycho 17.
But it was a complete reversal of the score in just 4 turns!
Still, despite the seesaw struggle at the end, both players finished
Round A with impressive rankings.
2. "Puff, the Magic Dragon":
We have to salute Iceman in A13 for this wonderful little blooper.
Some people have imaginary friends, others have imaginary pets,
but only the Iceman has an imaginary Dragon! To quote him:
"Please note that the Dragon I said was signed from Kay's Crypt
on the last turn was not-but will be on this turn!!! ;-)
The damn Dragon was a 'hold out' and contract negotiations
have continued, but the Athletes now feel free to
announce the Dragons signing!!! ;-)
And thusly, puff, the dragon was gone....;-)"
3. "Now What did I do with that Pegasus?"
This honor goes to Avenging Angel in A17.
Winning at Warlords II is complicated. So complicated that sometimes
you have to remake your turn reports a couple of times before you get it
right. After dazzling us with his writting skills and Warlord skills
(he did manage to win his game), the Avenging Angel managed to dazzle us
with a little magic trick.
As he was winning the game, his moves got so
complicated that he had trouble getting his turn reports and WarBOT
outputs and gamefiles right, and once accidentally "used" a pegasus in
two widely-separated battles in the same turn. This error was quickly
noticed and corrected by Professor Pat, who pointed out that
a pegasus is not a pigeon and that you cannot make them disappear and
reappear somewhere else. Sorry!!
(For more on this rivalry, see "Brothers in Arms", below!)
4. "Now who did I kill this turn?"
Only Fortissimo in A14 could receive this somewhat dubious distinction!
But since he killed more enemy units than anyone else in Round A,
no doubt he was entitled to forget about a few of them!
This quotation is really hilarious (especially if you take it out
of context!), and the last sentence is a great Tournament Quotation:
> P.S. In my turn-16 report i forgot to mention the death of
> some minor orange armies. Unfortunately i have forgotten of
> what type they were or what their location was. And i forgot
> not to accidentaly delete Dark lords pi's turn report.
>
> Ermm, what was i trying to say?
> Well, i forgot to do something, i remember that much.
>
> I hope i didn't forget any actions this time. Them turn reports
> can get quite large. But then again, the larger the
> turn report, the bigger the progress...
B. PERSONAL, NOT GAME RELATED
1. "Warlord of the 21st Century"
Congratulations to Small Player, the youngest Warlord in
our tournament, on his 10th Birthday (celebrated during Round A!)
Doctors, lawyers, scientists, PhD's, computer professionals,
and hordes of university students have all tried to take on the
WarBOT. Many have failed, and either fled screaming from the
battlefield, or been left mumbling to themselves how it's
just too hard for them. Yet at only 10 years old, the youngest
Prince of Warlords continues to fight where all these older
(and supposedly wiser) Warlords failed! We give thanks to
Small Player for proving that it is bravery and courage
of the heart that makes a truly great Warlord. And although
he might not have had a great game this round, he'll still
be killing enemy heroes when the rest of us are in our graves!
2. "Honeymooners"
(Or, "Not tonight, honey - I have to take my turn!")
Amazingly enough, the Brothers Gary and Scott Best both
got married during Round A. (No, not to each other!)
Gary was Pooh in A16, and Scott was Celeborn in A10.
Somehow their wives let them finish their games!
To Scott and Gary and all those warlords who actually
got married during the tournament: wow!
Surviving pre-nuptial tension, bachelor parties, the wedding, and
the honeymoon and still keeping the commitment to
the W2WT is amazing. We wonder how they did as a group...
3. "Happy New Year"
Elam and the Year 2000 Bug. Or was that 1998?
We all give thanks to our Remailer Guru, Elam Birnbaum,
for his skill and dedication in resurrecting the Remailer after
its drunken New Year's rampage destroyed everything!
The Remailer crash was easily the most dramatic
moment of the tournament and one that everyone
experienced. Probably quite a few hands had to be
held during that one.
4. "The Dog Ate My Gamefile, Honestly"
This award goes to The Omnipotent and Affetmezler,
who have had miserable luck in their Internet connections.
The nastiest incident occurred they had their 'Net access cut
when their Service Provider changed partners in the US....
They were without 'Net access to the Remailer for at least a
week, with some highly intermittant response for a
long period afterwards....
Kerem Kandemir and Ali Sertac Durmus, the humans behind the
Warlords, have nonetheless persevered despite their difficulties,
and we hope they continue to represent Turkey in the World Tournament!
5. "Brothers in Arms"
This goes to Gary and Scott Best (see "Honeymooners"), and
to Larry and Pat Lang. Larry ("Avenging Angel")
and Pat ("Professor Pat") somehow wound up in the same game
[ Headquarters declares that it was sheer coincidence ],
and although they were at peace for a while, they got
into a bit of a family feud at the end. Very brotherly!
(See "Now What Did I do with that Pegasus?")